Disguising yourself as a Canadian

One of the bloggers at Castle Argghhh!, CW4BillT, is heading over to "Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkey"-land for his 20th anniversary trip with his wife. One of the helpful comments on that post gave tips on how to disguise himself as a Canadian:

Ciggy briefed on May 23, 2005 09:45 AM

You're headed into hostile territory. Best to camouflage yourself as Canadian, just to avoid problems. Don't forget to practice your Canadianness:

1. Any "OU" dipthong is "OO" not "OW"

2. All things Canadian are superior to all things of the U.S., but inferior to all things Eurotrash, because Canadians suck up to the Eurotrash the same way the Eurotrash suck up to the Islamofascists (which is why the Eurotrash love Canadians!)

3. Maple syrup is a condiment.

4. Beer is a survival supply.

5. Amerind tribes are referred to as "FIRST NATION", not "NATIVE AMERICANS".

6. PC moonbattery goes out the window when you have to shoot a grizzly bear to get safely to work in your morning commute through the backwoods. (Some Norwegians and Finns understand this exception to the rule, too.)

7. Remember not to find any irony at all in the fact that your "nation" is tolerant of the intolerant (Islamofascists) and can still consider that to be tolerance. Pretend to be nonplussed when asked when the beheadings will start up, in Toronto.