Star Trek, militarily speaking

Michael Peck looks at the military side of Star Trek:

Twenty-third century warfare isn't all it's cracked up to be. You'd think that weapons and tactics would have progressed in 200 years. But the new Star Trek movie shows that the United Federation of Planets has a lot to learn about warfare.

A military analysis of young Cadet Kirk's War isn't easy. Director J.J. Abrams' frenetic rock 'em, sock 'em style can be tough to follow. But here is Star Trek's vision of future warfare. (Warning: all sorts of spoilers ahead.)

* The villainous Romulan ship pulverizes Federation vessels with volleys of torpedoes. Yet no Federation warship employs electronic jammers, decoys or point defense phasers. Very depressing. Two hundred years later, missile defense still doesn't work.

* But why does the Romulan ship need torpedoes? If its energy drill can bore holes through planets, then it can slice a starship like a phaser through butter. Future humans must still learn to master dual-use technology.

Some amusing notions, although trying to apply military principles to anything in the Star Trek universe(s) is not likely to yield useful results. Gene Roddenberry, the originator of the first series, appears to have had little or no respect for military organization — think of a non-insane Admiral being portrayed in the original series. Military solutions were the last resort of the producer/screenwriter, even when the problem was clearly military.

For example, it makes lots of sense, dramatically, for the two officers at the top of the command hierarchy and the chief medical officer to be off doing Ensign's or Lieutenant's work on boarding parties/away teams/survey teams/etc., but militarily? Please. Commanding officers don't just wander off, taking the second in command and other senior officers, putting themselves at risk of capture or death and leaving the ship and remaining crew "offstage". Courts-martial all around!

The movie didn't commit the same errors as the original series, although you have to wonder why a starship — fleet flagship, no less — doesn't appear to have anything resembling a Marine contingent aboard for close-combat and boarding exercises. And sending your acting First Officer, your (apparent) third officer, and Ensign "KillMeQuick" Redshirt to conduct a HALO assault? Um, yeah. Good luck with that.

Update: Comments are open on this post, should anyone be interested . . .

Update, the second: Inveterate Trekkie James Lileks finally weighs in with a Star Trek review:

3. I had a pot of coffee before I went, and the fluids asserted their needs to be released during the Juvie-Kirk-Steals-A-Car sequence, and I was grateful for that. Kids stealing a Mustang in the 24th century while listening to 20th century rock is like someone stealing a Prius today and CRANKIN’ UP THE SCARLATTI.

4. Nimoy needs stronger Fixadent.

5. The fine Starfleet tradition of staffing their biggest, most modern ships with people who just graduated from school yesterday — or this morning, or not at all — appears to have started early on.

6. The script writers had the phrase "Kirk is choked" on a macro key. [. . .]

And a few other points. Bottom line: Loved it. Loved it, loved it. O I loved it. Except for the moments not seen because I was out on the aforementioned errand, I loved it all. The opening was just a big shovel of chocolate for the fans — been a while since you saw something with NCC on the hull fire phasers and get hit with torpedos and generally blow the hell up, eh? Here. On the house. And it's emotional, too — thus was Odysseus born!